Epiphanic

Lessons about Nonsensical Living from Water Aerobics Class

2011-10-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

About 3-4 weeks ago I joined a gym here in Tallahassee and started doing water aerobics. Some of the advantages of exercising in water include the following: less stress on the joints due to less weight bearing; muscle toning due to the greater resistance caused by water than air; and, most importantly, since the body is primarily underwater, it is difficult to see who is giving their all and who is just doing enough to get by. I try to be a member of the “giving their all” group, but, I confess, it is easy to slip into the “enough to get by” slackers. Because our instructor is aware that we may be slackering, she often yells out the question, “Why are you here?” thereby pointing out the nonsensical nature of attending an exercise class for the purpose of avoiding exertion. What is the point of going to water aerobics if one doesn’t actually exercise?

So I started answering this question, “Why am I here?” Why would I show up to exercise, but neglect to work hard at it? Perhaps my goal isn’t really to improve my physical health. Maybe I just want to pretend that I do, thereby making myself and those who care about me believe that I am being proactive. Or maybe I want to go exercise because it will help me to reason that my late night TV snack is justified because I worked out earlier in the day. Or maybe I truly want to exercise and improve my health, but I just don’t have the fortitude to give it my all. Giving one’s all is a difficult thing.

I am at the point in time that many call mid-life. My oldest daughter is graduated from college and is finding her way in life as an adult. My youngest daughter is off to school as a college freshman. And I confess, I have been asking myself the question, “Why am I here?” It has been easy for me to become engrossed in various roles in life as a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, or an employee to the point that I forget that those identities are all a part of my identity as a Christ Follower, a child of God. The waxing and waning of various roles in life is inevitable. Infusing every opportunity that I am given with “my all” is, perhaps, what it means to love God with all one’s heart, mind, soul, and strength. It is nonsensical to give any less than all to God and, yet, as in the aerobics pool, I am tempted to do just that- give less. I am tempted to appear to be giving my all while still holding back. At other times I drop the pretense, throw up my hands, and admit that it is too hard to give my all. But God’s voice calls to me, “Why are you here?” Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, ²looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

So, yes, I am at water aerobics pondering the meaning of the instructor’s question and seriously applying it to my life. Yes, I am jumping up when everyone else is down. I am scissor kicking when I am supposed to be dog-paddling. I am circling left when I am supposed to be circling right. And, yes, my instructor is watching me and wondering, “Why is she here?”

No more "Suck It Up, Cupake"?

2011-05-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I have a saying that I use at times when I think there is nothing to be done about a situation except to accept it and move on. I got it from the daughter of a close friend. "Suck it up, Cupcake," I advise myself. My friends have heard me make this pronouncement many times over a frustrating situation and some of them have started using it, too. Recently, one of my friends told me that she thinks this phrase is losing its charm. "Sometimes I feel like I'm sucking up the whole d*** cake" she explained. :-) After reading the note on stress below, I've decided to work on a new phrase. Maybe something like, "Put it down, Pop Tart!" What do you think?

How good are you at managing your stress?

This story may be just what you need to put it all in perspective. A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked,"How heavy is this glass of water?"

The answers ranged from 20g to 500 g. The lecturer replied,
"The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When you're refreshed, you can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

Taken from: http://www.bummedoutboomer.com/managing-stress-with-a-glass-of-water

I had to add these verses as well.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? [7]28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

So, yes, I think "Put it down, Pop-Tart" might be a nice change.

Faith from Inside My Snow Globe

2011-01-27T11:25:00.000-08:00

Recently I've been prompted to think about the subject of suffering through sermons our pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, has been preaching on Job.

All suffering, in relationship to believers, seems to share the common substance of refining power. When God brings suffering to Job, the outcomes appear to be the glorification of God through Job's abiding trust in God's purposes and sanctification through Job's personal struggle to consistently see God as the loving entity that he is even in painful experiences. Tullian shared this quote from Elyse Fitzpatrick “The proof of God’s power is not that we never suffer but that in our suffering, everything is turned to our good.” The temptation for me is to try to bypass the hurting through the knowledge that God is working out his good purposes in my life. But if I waltzed through my sufferings with a "Tra-la-la" attitude, where would the suffering lie? God's faithfulness to us isn't about taking away the pain of suffering, but it is about constructively using the pain of suffering. I think the key to bearing up under suffering is to accept it as a whole- the pain, the isolation, and the fear with a tenacious faith that God will ultimately use it for good.

Recently I was telling a friend about my challenges in handling tough times. I talk to God and he gets my head and emotions straight, but, with every new development in a crisis, I have to repeat the process. "It's sort of like I live in a snow globe," I said, "and people can just walk by and shake up my world." It's hard for me to accept the fact that I have very little control over how and by whom my world is shaken. When I tremble, I have to rely on God to steady my snow globe world. And that reliance is an everyday thing.

Feeling dismembered?

2011-01-27T07:44:00.000-08:00

I journaled this in October 2010. I thought it was worth posting because of the importance of being connected to a local body of Christ.

Last January Steve and I began to entertain the idea that God might be calling us to work in a new church setting in South Florida.

Saying good-bye to all of our friends in Chattanooga was a most painful experience. My heart was broken multiple times as I spent evenings with my close friends at the end of my stay. As I parted from these dear ones, I began to notice that parts of me seemed to be staying behind with them. I haven't felt like a whole person here in Fort Lauderdale. At first I worried that this was an indication of severe mental strain and it may be, however, I've also pondered the Body of Christ concept as a possible explanation. When we become a part of the body of Christ it is both a macro and a micro experience. Yes, I am still a part of the global body of Christ, but I am leaving the local body of Christ on Signal Mountain and joining a different body here in South Florida. It's no wonder that I feel incomplete. Let's say, metaphorically speaking, that I am a little toe in the body of Christ at Signal. Well, golly gee, here I am in South Florida feeling very much like a little toe who is missing the rest of its body. I suppose the message I am sending myself is that I need to connect with the local body of Christ here and I am definitely asking God where and how he wants me to connect and serve. Building relationships and becoming integrated in the body of Christ here will take time. It seems like the answer to all of my concerns now is patience.

More about patience or my lack of it at a later date.

Learning to Accept Heart-breaking Days as a Significant Part of My Sacred Journey

2010-12-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

It has been a little over a year since Steve's paternal grandmother passed away. She was a wonderful woman who lived long, worked hard, served others, loved lavishly, and was dearly loved by her friends, family, and community. But even so, we were reminded in the reminiscing that she was not perfect. She made a few mistakes in her lifetime. She took a few risks. . . made some gutsy decisions. I admire the strength with which she led her life.

She requested the hymn, "Victory in Jesus" for the service. The chorus, for those not familiar with this southern gospel hymn, reads "Oh victory, in Jesus, my Savior, forever. He sought me and he bought me with his redeeming blood. He loved me 'ere I knew him and all my love is due him. He plunged me to victory beneath the cleansing flood."

I was wondering if my assessment of her life would be different if she had not walked with such courage and spirit. It seems to me that her "wins" outpaced her "losses", but would her life have been any less valuable if it had been the other way around? Perhaps the truly notable thing is that the "victories" in her life are a part of the fabric of her life in Jesus Christ. The victories and the defeats; the highs and the lows; the laughter and the tears- all threads that create the substance of life. Through the blood of Jesus, every bit of our lives are laundered. Every experience is redeemed and comes together for good.

As I look ahead, I'd still prefer more victories than defeats, more highs than lows, and more laughter than tears, but I'd like to be quicker to see the heart-breaking days as a part of the whole sacred journey I call my life. I'd like to rest in the truth that I cannot bring meaning to my life, but that my life has meaning because it exists within the context of Christ's redemptive mission.

Reflection on L'Engle Poem

2010-12-02T07:32:00.001-08:00

Poems are such timeless creations. Every time one re-visits a poem there is a fresh reverberation with all of the new bits of experience one has gained since the last meeting. This one is newly lovely.

Within This Strange and Quickened Dust
~ Madeleine L'Engle
O God, within this strange and quickened dust
The beating heart controls the coursing blood
In the discipline that holds in check the flood
But cannot stem corrosion and dark rust.
In flesh's solitude I count it blest
That only you, my Lord,can see my heart
With passion's darkness tearing it apart
With storms of self, and tempests of unrest.
But your love breaks through blackness, bursts with light;
We separate ourselves, but you rebind
In Dayspring all our fragments; body, mind,
And spirit join, unite against the night.
Healed by your love, corruption and decay
Are turned, and whole, we greet the light of day.